Family and Parenthood (Harry Potter/werewolf OC)

A questionare filled out by my original character I've created into the Harry Potter universe.
Jacob King - a half-blood wizard, a police officer in muggles' London, and though he's not actually a werewolf himself he is father to my werewolf character, Stephen Hunter King.
(Hunter has answered a Childhood questionare at age 12, and I filled out a Fan character questionare about him.)
---> Here is a collage I made of the celebrities whom I imagine to be the faFmily's looks and voices. Fictionally this collage includes Jacob, his two kids and the mother.)

~*~*~*~

(July 1992)

FAMILY

1. How many brothers and sisters do you have?
One little brother.
2. Were you a planned child, and what age your parents were when they had you?
Yes, I was, and they were fourty.
3. Did your parents have any alternate names for you?
Yes. Benjamin. Which eventually was given to my brother, because I looked more like Jacob.
4. Did your parents have pet names for you? If yes, what?
Yes, but I'd rather keep them to myself, in my memories.
5. What are your mother and father's names?
Josephine and Aaron.
6. What's your nationality?
English.
7. How long have your parents been married? If devorced, how old were you when they did?
They were married for fifteen years, I think, and they never devorced. They died when I was eight.
8. Is any of your friends' parents like a mum/dad to you?
Were, to a certain extent. I never let them especially close, although I did appreciate their support. They'd been named as my godparents. They died in the '70's during the wizarding war, except for that friend of mine who now has a family of his own.
9. Have you ever been told you're adopted?
No, because I knew I was – to my grand-dad from age 8 forward.
10. Does your family fight with the rest of your relatives?
At this time my immidiate family is all my relatives. For all I know.
11. How many nieces and nephews you have?
None, for all I know. My little brother was abducted when he was 5-years old and he hasn't been found.
12. What do you mother and father do for living?
Dad was a criminal lawyer, mum was a potioneer – she made especially those more unusual and difficult ones. A gift that passed down on me and turned out to be a life-saver...
13. Do you have children?
Yes. Two. A son and a daughter.
14. Out of all your family members, who makes you laugh the most often?
Both of my children just about equally, though both usually in their own way.
15. Who's your favourite family member?
I don't have a favourite.
16. Have you ever lost a family member? If yes, how many?
Yes, four. My parents, my brother and my grand-dad.
17. Have you ever taken a vacation with your family? If yes, when and where the latest?
Countless times. The latest was here in England, during the Easter holidays in Gloucestershire. Just me and my kids.
18. Do you wish your family was larger or smaller?
I just want to keep the current members and find my brother. I've never desired a big family.
19. When was the last time you spoke to your grandparents?
Over twenty years ago, if occationally talking to my passed-away grand-dad doesn't count.
20. Are you proud of your family?
Very. It may not be the most ideal, but it's strong in bonds and I have two great kids, even if one of them is a whole lot more difficult challenge than challenging kids usually may be. I wouldn't give them up for anything in this world of in any other.

PARENTHOOD

~ GENERAL

How many children do you have?
Two, a boy and a girl.

What are their names?
Stephen Hunter, and Freya Emilia.

My son I named after my grand-dad – (Stephen). It's pronounced like 'Steven' – even though it's illogic with 'ph'. That's how it was with my grand-dad too and anyway we didn't feel the need to battle in vain against centuries of that pronounciation. Hunter is simply a strong name I like and out of all the names I considered it sounded and looked the best between Stephen and my surname.
Originnally we of course called him by his first name, but there came a time when he started to like his middle name more and wanted it to be used instead.
Freya was named by their mother, and it's simply a name she always intended for her possible daughter.

What ages are they?
Hunter is 12, and Freya is 10.

Do you want more children?
No, not necessarely. At least right now, I don't have time for a baby. Maybe when these two kids have grown up and if I've ended up in a new serious relationship.

Would you want the next one to be a boy or a girl, or does it matter?
It wouldn't matter.

What the next one's name would be?
I haven't really thought of it because I'm really not planning to have any more. I'd probably name a girl after my mum – Josephine. And a boy after my brother and my dad - Benjamin Aaron.

Do your children live with you?
Yes.

Do they get along better with you or their other parent?
Freya gets along equally well with us both, but Hunter much better with me. He and his mother have a troubled relationship and they don't really have much of a mother/son bond, if at all. For several reasons. I doubt some of them will ever go away.

~ YOUR FIRST BORN CHILD

What age were you when you had your first child?
28 years old.

How long were you in labour?
I don't remember exactly, but about 16 hours all through. She went into labour in the afternoon and we welcomed Hunter into the world at 9 o'clock the next morning.

Did you have him naturally or by c-section?
Naturally.

What were the first months like?
Scary, exhausting, yet somehow lovely and completing.

Right from the start we fed him mother's milk also from a bottle, so that I too could bond with him the same and over-all that we could share the responsibilities more fairly.
I did have some experience of babies beforehand, but it didn't help me much after all. Suddenly I didn't trust the knowledge and experience I had, and it didn't feel the same anyway when it was my own child and about a person's entire life. Besides I hadn't cared for actual new-borns before, and for the first few days I was afraid I'd break him.

Speaking of life, I thought I'd never get any of the free-time back and I can only try to imagine how Carrie felt as she spent some ten more hours a day with the boy than I did. During my hours at work which weren't even always regular as sometimes I was needed in the middle of the night.
At the time I was still a detective in a team investigating abductions, although I was eagerly waiting for a spot back in the role of an ordinary constable – (to lessen the life-threatning aspects of the job, for the sake of my son.) It was my partner who mostly got the current cases solved further, because I was either so enchanted with love, tired, or nervously pondering if I'd done everything right with the little one and worrying about how Carrie was doing at home...often all of those...that I didn't too often get my brain work as sharp and clever as I usually would. Fortunately at that time the cases didn't take us to the field too often.

I'm still wondering how something so tiny can make so loud noise and have the energy to scream so much? Or make so much mess and need so much stuff. In addition, underneath all that mess the emotional stress.
I don't believe anyone could survive a baby if had to do it all alone.
Even with the two of us it felt like quite a challenge, Carrie suffered from postmatal depression and I too had to try and sleep at some point so I could survive my work and the day all in all.
As much as I love my job that is more of a calling, back then I wished I'd chosen some other line of work. Because I love Hunter (and Freya) more than anything and love Carrie as a friend so I didn't feel I had the right to sleep any more than she, especially when the boy was awake. But I had to, somehow. The quality of the sleep however likely wasn't good enough.
Especially as I'd started to notice something missing between her and Hunter, some connection, and I suspected the boy didn't feel safe enough in his mother's care. At least he cried much less when I took care of him or spent time with him, and eventually when he was capable of making some sort of choices, he seemed to want me.
Carrie did, and had the stamina to try, admirably well seeing to the situation. I try to remind her of that when these days she accuses herself of being a bad mother, which I personally don't think she is, if not exactly good either.

The emotional stress of our entire family wasn't helped by the fact that the boy was born during the worst period of the wizarding war, and Carrie is a muggle-born. We did cast countless strong protection spells on our house and during my work days I called home many times and knew that she would call if she needed me, but still!
The poor boy's first year and a half or so certainly weren't very stable or safe enough often enough on the emotional level, but we tried our best. That knowledge however doesn't help me during the times I feel guilty. That I should've tried more than my best.

So there was a lot of stress, fear and tears...and yet still also excitement and Hunter was the one reason why there was also a lot of laughter, warmth and joy. He was a happy baby regardless of everything, but he would've certainly been a lot happier had his starting points been different. But I believe and it did seem like he absorbed especially well everyhing positive, like anyone in the dark would do with all possible light.
The war probably made us appreciate the precious moments all the more, although I was anyway high with the fact that I had a son.
My social life outside the baby things, work and phone was down to nearly zero for many reasons, but even when I could've met my friends and done anything I used to, I'd rather be with Hunter and Carrie, especially Hunter. Even when the boy was sleeping, I could just sit there for hours, just looking at him. (Often pumping myself full of refreshing tea and as energy-loaded cookies as possible.)
My best friend Daniel and his wife, whome we'd named the boy's godparents, were around quite a lot.

We have probably hundreds of hours of videotape and a small mountain of film all full of Hunter's baby years, especially the first weeks. And another equal amount of Freya. Hunter's first steps we caught on a videotape.
We have continued filming and photographing them a lot during the years, but those baby years' filmings were madness, I doubt anyone else but Carrie and I are going to get anything out of most of it.

What's the worst thing he's ever done?
I'd rather not think about it. Well, a couple of years ago he came extremely close to getting himself killed. In the same process he risked countless of people's healths and lives, but the worst part indeed was that he himself was nearly killed. He pulled that stunt knowlingly and deliberately, he just hadn't thought it through. As in he didn't want to die or really hurt anyone, and he just had a few problems, including an attitude problem about something else.

What's the best thing he's ever done for/to you?
Was born.
That you'd hear from almost every parent, so you probably meant after birth, knowlingly done things...Hmm.......I'll pass this one. ”The best” is such a wide concept that I could never come to any decision...As he is quite old by now and we're very close to each other.

What is the one word that best describes this child?
Complicated.

~ YOUR SECOND BORN CHILD

What age were you when you had your second child?
Almost 31.

What age was your first child then?
2 years 5 months.

How did he react to his baby sibling?
He liked her a lot and even wanted to help in caring for her, in his own little ways, but as they grew older and Freya started to show more and more the characteristics of her own gender, Hunter's excitemenet decreased and he started to be a big brother in all ways that count, including bullying. That however wasn't and isn't usually too horrible.

How long were you in labour for the second time?
About ten hours, at nine in the morning we left to the hospital and Freya gave her light to this world at 07:05 in the evening.

Naturally or by c-section?
Naturally.

What's the worst thing she's ever done?
Carried a really huge and serious experience inside, alone, for almost three years before she told me. Though I can't blame her. At her age I either probably couldn't have dealt with something like it the right way, and in addition she'd made a promise to her brother.

What's the best thing she's ever done for/to you?
Again with the being born. And again, it's impossible to choose one thing from her knowingly done things.

What is the one word that best describes this child?
Now I have to cheat a bit and use two words: old soul.

~ PARENTING

What is the best discipline method you have found?
There's no one single best. Freya's always respnded well to simply talking-to's and grounding and so on, Hunter on the other hand is so stubborn like you wouldn't believe. He responds best to spanking, but I don't want to use it too much so often I keep to the second best working that is losing a privilege and grounding, in addition to scolding.
It depends a lot on what kind of an offense it's for and what their attitude is to begin with.

Do you believe in spanking?
Yes. It sends a clear message about the seriousness of the offence and can save the kid's life. But I never forget to give a hug and a kiss right after, and usually I combine it with other, non-corporal punishments. Unlike my parents and grand-dad, I've never even considered using any impliments, I consider them unnecessary and having too high risk of causing injuries. But basically yes, I've found it effective and harmless discipline method when used reasonably. Of course I wished I'd never have to at all. But, in addition to being extremely spirited, my son turned out to be among other things way too hard-headed, so I do have to. Fortunately Freya is almost the opposite of her brother.

How do you reward your children?
I praise them, take them out to do something special and fun, or bring them a new toy or something else nice. Sometimes I may give them extra pocket money.

How do you deal with picky eating?
Denying the dessert has usually been enough, perhaps mostly because Freya has never been picky for long and Hunter hates watching his sister eating goodies while he can't. If it's not enough, I put the food in the fridge and serve it again at the next dinner, no matter what others ate that time. They'll eat when they're hungry enough.

How about fighting bedtime?
When they were very little I tried to see they used enough energy during the day, which was relatively easy as I was a stay-at-home dad for many years. Back then, if they fought bedtime it was usually because of boogiemen or such and they were chased away quite well by imaginative ways and I checked on them regularly until they fell asleep.
Later Freya's no longer been difficult in that, but Hunter so for her part too, as his independence grew and the amount of energy as well. I got far by persistency, and positive reinforcement whenever the night had gone relatively well. Although my own tiredness made it a heck of a challenge nonetheless.
These days he doesn't fight bedtime too often, at least not openly...and the way I deal with it depends a lot on how and why he does it, (and how tired I am at the time.) So these days I have no specific ways to deal with it.

Do they get pocket money?
Yes, once a week on Monday morning. Freya gets 98 pence and Hunter gets 1,57 pounds. Mainly we review it on birthdays, in case it needs to be raised. So that it would remain about the same value, an actual raise I'll give once in a few years. First it's just a privilege to teach the value of money - but when they turned nine I raised his pocket money significantly, started to require participation in some chores and linked the money to that. I may freeze the pocket money for other reasons too than just laziness with chores, or give a little extra if they get really good grades, but mainly it's something to earn by doing light chores.

[Author's note: 98 pence in 1992 is the equivalent of 1,81£ in 2014. And 1,57£ in 1992 is the equivalent of 2,90£ in 2014. I researched and calculated that it should be the average weekly pocket money for kids that age back then - perhaps a little bit above the average.]

Do you home school them / will you?
I home schooled Hunter myself for a couple of years. He wasn't mature enough for school at age five, but then again even if he had been I'd still kept him home. I feel a 5-year old is too young for full-blown school preassures. Freya was and still is mature for her age, and both were mature enough for school and Hunter had even learned to control his accidental magic well by the time I sent them to a state school in 1987. But the biggest reason why I didn't send my children to a school earlier was that until that year corporal discipline was legal in schools -  and I don't approve of that to my babies from other people. It should be limited to a parent-child relationship.
I wouldn't take them out of a state school unless I had to, because I'm still a single parent, all my trusted friends have jobs and their own families, and I will never have my children out of public in the hands of a stranger, more than is necessary.
But for a long time, it hasn't seemed like home schooling would be needed again anyway.

Do you and your spouse agree on how to discipline?
Disciplining is something Carrie never succeeded in though she tried, so she left that to me. But we do think alike, yes.

Do you think you are a better parent than your spouse?
Yes, because it's obviously true. And Carrie herself was the first to say it. She's not necessarely bad herself even if she thinks so. I'd rather say "not very good" as in something in between bad and good.
I have made (huge) mistakes and no doubt will in the future, but in general I just had better starting points than she did, in many ways.

I had experience of  taking care and dealing with children before the boy was born, and I was blessed with a great guardian from my grand-dad when I was eight, and my own parents weren't bad either for all I remember. I believe they and even their mistakes have been a lot of help in my own efforts and on the background of other parents' support. Carrie's parents either weren't really bad, they loved their daughter, it's just that her relationship with them suffered remarkably because she was a witch and they didn't know it until she received her invitation to Hogwarts and someone came to explain things to them.
In addition, she doesn't have it in her to be a strong authority figure – especially not as strong as our son needs. But I am. And after a certain experience or perhaps even in her basic nature she's not very maternal whereas my paternal insticts are strong and even my nursing instinct may be exceptionally strong for a man. All this is why we swapped palces when Hunter was 2-years old, Carrie returned to work and I became a stay-at-home dad. And for the same reasons, and of course so that the siblings could stay together, she wished for me to take their full custody when shared custody and living together wasn't an option anymore.

What comes to generally skills in raising our children, these days I'm unavoidably better because I've raised these two mostly alone, as in she has much less practical experience and therefore less confidence. She doesn't really try to raise them more than necessary whenever she's around, and no one expects her to. I just hope that one day she'll find the mother in her, in more ways than just protection instinct and mild nursing instinct.

Do your kids believe in Santa Claus?
They never have, because we never fed that lie to them. The truth spares them from a needless and possibly deep disappointment  – and in general we haven't seen such character as the best way to encourage good bahaviour. Also, we don't want to lie to them needlessly.
I would recommend the same to others, but I do not judge those who let their kids believe. Because to each their own, and it's good intentions and I think most families come out of that path fine.
So I have made very clear to my children that they should let other children believe, because it's their parents' choice and it's not our business to tell the truth. They've usually played nice and kept the secret.
Presents and everything else nice Christmas related my children have always had the same as other kids.

How about the Tooth Fairy?
Never have. To far extent for the same reasons as with Santa. Also, I felt better teaching them from the start that money doesn't grow in the mouth any more than it does in the trees. When the time seemed right, I simply started giving them pocket money.

Easter Bunny?
Not in this either. The same thing as with Santa.
I do hide chocolate eggs and plastic eggs with candy in them, for them to hunt down, but they've always known who hid them. And yes, they both still like doing it. Although, for the past few years I've made it into a treasure hunt style instead of them just trying to find them all over.

Generally speaking I do allow them to believe in fictional characters and stories, as long as it's their own choice and stays harmless. Their childhood has had a lot of magic, made-up as well as literal, even without Santa, Fairy and Bunny.

Do you take your children to church?
No.

Why or why not?
We are members of a chucrch, but our Christianity is rather formal. My family's never been of the strongest believers, as in we think the Bible is mainly work of fiction and we feel no need to practice our faith in a large group or specific place. It can be done anywhere any time.
If my children wanted to go to church, I wouldn't stop them. But I doubt they'll ever be seen there in God serving means. At least at this time, for all I know, we all believe generally in some higher power, not in the christian God or in any other known god.

What is the single most important thing you believe kids should be taught?
I don't believe there's any single most important. But a combination of extremely important things, such as ie. self-protection, self-respect, responsibility, listening and compassion. But I believe the best thing to start with is self-esteem. If that is lacking or weak, many things in life can remain unexperienced or go wrong.

Do you feel that you have done a good job raising your kids?
Yes.

Why or why not?
Well..though my son can in certain ways and things be quite impossible, and my daughter's not perfect either...But to mention a few things; they have good self-esteem and are more or less compassionate, responsible and bright, and usually polite and respectful towards other people, (especially adults and authority figures.)
And in addition, they seem to be happy.

~*~*~*~

~VIDEOS:

--> All current videos featuring these characters.

~CURRENTLY PUBLISHED STORIES:
(I write about them mostly in 1-chaptered stories as a series. Hunter is the main character.)

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More stories coming up soon! At this time I have three in progress.